HARD BY the bindweed blooms and chicory, in between coyote crap and Queen Anne’s Lace, the stalwarts of KRAFt plied the frontage road again in search of shit. All manner of shit. ‘Twas the annual midsummer Adopt-A-Highway cleanup down by good ol’ Apple Holler. The popular country-themed tourist destination has much to offer, including, unfortunately, bags of collateral litter discarded by legions of give-a-care patrons.
Bucolic fields abut the west; east the interstate screams in the heat. Scribbled down the middle like a crooked suture, our strip of dirty shoulder both delineates and reflects this striking contrast. One part lugnut…..one part badger skeleton. Set against a cascade of colorful parachutes, the cleanup always reminds me of the wonderful juxtaposition of worlds that marks this turf, and remains one of my favorite things we do. It’s great exercise, something interesting always happens, and it never fails to engender real conversation and strengthen friendships.
This is one of the only pure communities service activities we engage in, and I know in the rush to do greater things, I sometimes lose sight of how important that is. Yes it’s nice to have our sign out there and yes it’s nice to have someone honk and wave in appreciation once in a while. But let’s face it….no one gives a shit. If they did, they wouldn’t have thrown their nasty filth out the window to begin with. No, this is a largely altruistic, completely thankless, utterly necessary bit of do-goodery for the earth, and those who came should be proud. It’s not easy to get up early on your day off and come out to walk 6 miles, so thank you to those who did. We even merited an appearance by the Nicaraguan Nightmare himself, Myth-meister Antonio Desconocido.
Among the more interesting items found were an unusual hubcap, a sad mouse who had literally drowned himself in his drink, and a recently rifled pocketbook plopped on the road by a runaway perp. We had six trash-pickin’ apostates apply themselves, about as many as we ever get. The route was extraordinarily clean, yielding only 5 total sacks of shit, and that includes half a bag from a bridge adjacent to our track that a giddy Antonio could not help himself from cleaning.
The next cleanup will be around Halloween, coincidental to the massive crowds that haunt the Holler at that time. I know we’ll see you at that one…..helping us clean up after the rest of them.
The Secu-Larynx 
That was the sexiest article about picking up shit I ever read.
Thank You Melody… 😉